sigh, ask yourself what you're doing these days, brush the hair from your face, empty a pack of cigarettes, put an old song on repeat, crack your neck, crack your night open, open flame, breathe & cross your legs, life is nothing but little moments alone

i don't want to miss the last few moments of light
of summer (there is supposed to be something happening here, now)
i want coffee but can't
get out of bed, turn on a light, shift my laptop
unholy light from a blank white screen/page
you're being judgemental now
i walk into the bathroom to pour alcohol on my face
i try to peel  myself away
i walk into the bedroom to slick thick oil on my face
they said it would stop me from
getting old